Are women dominated by men?

This statement is known to be Rumi’s: “Ignorant men dominate women, for they are shackled by the ferocity of animals. They have no kindness, gentleness, or love…”


Although I do not consider myself a Sufi [good to say because of some tiny minds who jump up to conclusion easily.  I took the words of Rumi to remind all of you that we need to put an end to gender discrimination. At least, it should stop in our own houses.And we take the opportunity to pray to Allah to help all our brothers and sisters in the world, to help them grow up in their minds,thoughts  too and to protect them against all types of fitna],

Although we are in the year 2015, mankind’s attitude towards other mankind is still the same, or may be worse and worse.

Gender discrimination has to stop and it will stop when women learn about who they are and why they have been created. Women should learn to respect themselves and respect other women too. It is high time that women treat other women with care and respect and stop backbiting each other.

It is sad to say that there are many false narrations which circulate among Muslims. Many narrations which downgrade women and the position of women on earth. Many men use these narrations to prove that they are superior and can therefore ‘dominate’ women. Of course, they do not use the word ‘dominate’ ; they simply think that women should serve them in every step of life. Women are considered ungrateful though they devote their whole life to care about children and raise them; even working women when coming back home still work for the welfare of the family. Maltreated wives or battered wives often think about children before thinking of divorce….There are so many examples of devoted women and less cases of women who want to imitate some irresponsible men.

So, women have to be respected for the work they have been doing in the society, their wisdom and their advice. And a woman should teach their daughters to love and respect themselves

Parents should give equal respects and attention to both daughters and sons at home. They should be trained to love and respect the other sex/gender ….

May Allah help us to grow in our thoughts and to shun all types of discrimination


Are women to blame in the society?

Before I get down to my point, please note that this is not an article about side-taking . It has been written as an eye-opener so that men and women start thinking widely and wisely about the consequences of their acts and thoughts.

Our society is highly divided and there are many gender problems that crop up in the society and women are the one that are always pinpointed for all problems which occur in the society. Men often have the tendency to blame women for fitnah and women often blame other women for fitnah and men are loyal to other men and support each other. Of course, this does not apply to each and everyone.

While this is not totally true and we should not blame others for our problem, it is important to understand that women have contributed a large amount for the society and for men’s welfare as well. Women are hardworking, responsible and caring for their families.

Our community has fallen into the trap of using using hadith over the verses of the Qur’an. While the Qur’an is Allah’s speech, it is error free and clear to understand. Allah promises in Surah Al Hijr verse 9 that He is the guardian and protector of the Quran. We cannot say the same thing for the number of hadiths which are classified as sahih, hasan, da’if and bat’il.

While the sunnah is important for us, we must make sure that hadith does not contradict the essence of the Quran. What does that mean? it means that the content of a hadith cannot oppose the teaching of the Qur’an and the sunnah.

If it does, it should be rejected because it will bring the community to chaos and confusion. If you act upon it, you will destroy yourself because it opposes the teaching of Allah and the prophet [peace be upon him] has been sent to explain the Qur’an and not to contradict its teaching or to oppose it. Please use your reasoning to understand this as Allah has given mankind a memory, a brain and a reasoning in order to analyse things, to differentiate between right and wrong. If you are not able to differentiate right from wrong, it means you are following your desires and you are following your sheikhs blindly.

Having said this, let us go back to our subject matter.

Gender discrimination is an injustice that we all want to get rid of. At least, this is what many are saying!!!

There is a thing called Women’s Day. If we want women to be recognised as such, then there is no need to do “women’s Day’ as we do “working day” …or “cancer day”

Women like men are God’s creatures. They have been created as human species and there is nothing about being inferior or superior. Women do not fall into animals’ species or djinn’s species

This should be well grounded in our mind. Difference in sex, does not mean superiority or inferiority. It just means that God wanted men and women to cohabit together in harmony by creating them different to each other so that they can complement each other through knowing each other.

Men and women are therefore ordered to live together in harmony, affection, love and security. It is the parents’ duty to raise up their children with such values!!!

Boys should learn to respect all women, not only their mother or their sister. Some even do not respect anyone!! and this is a tragedy for the family.

Learning to know the other sex is part of life and socialisation. Boys and girls learn to play with each other when they are small. They learn about their respective weaknesses and strengths so that later they can grow up loving each other and supporting each other through marriage.

Unfortunately, the society is built up on a “divide and rule” strategy. So men support men and downgrade women; and women are used to downgrade other women in front of men. The end result = women have become the weaker sex and are always downgraded in the society.

Many false narrations have been written on women and are credulously used by many. Many women are haters of women. There are women who constantly criticised other women with their husbands, and male relatives, believing unconsciously that these criticisms will earn them a higher position in the male’s eyes.

By the way, I would like to share a true story which was narrated to me. A woman who considered herself  a good and pious woman and who believed that her husband was the kind of a saint, would narrate to her husband  the bad behaviour of their female neighbour. The neighbour being a woman of loose nature,  would regularly invite all sorts of strangers to her house. The husband listened to the story of her wife with much concern, asking more and more details and the wife would spy on her neighbour in order to report to her own husband. Finally, the intention of the husband was different from hers!!! He decided to pay a visit to the neighbour and you can guess what happened. Different genders, different perspectives!!! 

Nobody is perfect in life. So, if you women, you think that you should criticize other women so that others may find you extraordinary or just a saint, then you are on the wrong tract!!!!

Remember: if a woman is sinning. she is not sinning alone. Now if you say that she makes others sin because of her attitude or her dress style. Remember, good women also fall as preys because men are seducing them. Be aware that many men are committing fitnah by tempting good women to commit immoral acts. This happens at school, at university, at work…even those who stay at home can be tempted through social networks ….so this problem can happen everywhere. There are men who tempt women by sending them private messages and so forth. So do not just blame women.

Many women are good, masha Allah but they do not know their husbands’ vices and what they are up to once they are alone. It is in their nature to defend, to oppose truth because they are too emotional and too fragile towards those they love. However, it is important to understand the objective of our creation. Allah created us for truth not to stand for falsehood. Truth is above falsehood. As believers, women should not depend on their husbands but on Allah. I repeat, women must depend solely on Allah as is explained in the Qur’an.

Of course, we are just generalising a few cases. There are good women as well as good men and that’s very fine, Al hamdulillah. We pray that more and more people realise that they should live according to the tenets of morality and become better individuals. We pray that women – I mean those who are used to do it – stop discussing and debating over women all the time and that they try to solve their problems in private. It is better to pray for all believing men and believing women, for their salvation and protection from the fitnah of the dajjal.


Wishing all of you the best